Perturbation
by Tenshi-Chan
Summary: After an accident causes Ezra to lose his memory, The gambler isn't the only one who has things to learn.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em! Wish I did! I don't even own the DVDs! Those belong to Keara!

* * *

**Perturbation**

by Tenshi-Chan

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Part 1

* * *

It had been a pleasant early spring day in Four Corners. The weather had been fair. Bright sunshine with a cool breeze occasionally swirling the dust on the ground. Mary Travis had been planning to go a little outside of town to have a picnic to take advantage of the peaceful atmosphere. She smiled at one or two of the townspeople as she closed the Clarion and headed for the hotel when the sound of hoofbeats approaching got her attention. At one time, that sound was met with a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. That was before these particular riders appeared one fateful day that Mary would never forget. The greeting that she had planned died on her lips when she saw that something was wrong.

She did a quick scan ... looking at details rather than faces, and frowned in puzzlement. That puzzlement became concern when she realized one of their party was not present even though his horse was. The concern became dread when she took in the somber expressions of the older men and the stubborn expression on the youngest. "Gentlemen!" She nodded in greeting and then did another look to see if maybe she was mistaken. "Where's Ezra?"

Chris let out a breath and dismounted. "One of the men we were chasing was an expert powder man. Had explosives set up just in case they were chased. It caused enough of a distraction that they got away."

Buck removed his hat and Mary could see he was fighting tears. "We were all past it when the blast went off. Knocked Ezra off his horse into White River south of Kane's Ford and the water carried him away. By the time we rounded back to where Chance was, Ezra was gone." He sniffed. "Damn fool always rode behind the rest of us."

Mary's heart broke. True that, out of all of the group, the charismatic gambler had been the most trouble, but she knew the town wouldn't be the same without him. As she felt tears well up, she could almost hear his southern drawl.

_'Now now, my dear woman. No need for you to waste tears on one such as myself.'_

J.D.'s voice was thick with emotion as the others started to dismount. "We gotta go back and look for him! Until I see a body, he ain't dead!"

Mary saw that the young man had been making that argument for some time. "You are going back to look, right?" When Chis gave her a disbelieving look, she felt a ball of anger start to grow. "If nothing else, the man fought by your side and should have a decent burial."

Chris blinked at her and glanced to where J.D. was still sitting on his horse. "Did I ever say we weren't going to look?" In response, J.D.'s expression became a little less bullish and he practically hopped off of his horse.

"You mean we ARE going back?" He looked like a kid being told that they were going fishing rather than to look for their friend who would, more likely than not, be a corpse by the time they got to him.

Chris rolled his eyes as he sighed. "All I said was we had to come back to town. We don't know how long we'll be gone, and we should have some supplies." He stroked his horse's muzzle. "Buck and I should stay here to keep an eye on things." He shook his head. "Word gets out that all of us are out of town, no telling what could happen."

Mary nodded and continued on her way. Her spirits were dampened and she knew she had to plan for one of two stories to print. The first, an unlikely story of how Ezra Standish once again survived the odds and was brought back to town to be tended. The second, a heartfelt obituary about the loss of a man who had done a great deal for the town. There was also the possibility that they wouldn't find him at all. That they would never know what had become of Ezra. That was something Mary didn't dare contemplate.

* * *

Buck glanced at Chris as they gathered supplies for the others. "All right, Chris. I can understand why Nathan and J.D. have to go. No way that fool kid will stay behind and Ezra will probably need tending if he's still alive. Why Vin and Josiah? No need to track a river."

Chris was silent a moment. "There's a chance that he's alive and Ezra won't stay put. He'll try to get back to town if he's in any condition to move." He shared J.D.'s belief that until there was definite proof of the southern man's death, then there was no way Chris would believe he was dead. "If that's the case, Vin will be needed. Josiah should go in case ..." He swallowed. "Anyway Josiah is one of the strongest of us and someone will have to carry Ezra if he can't walk on his own."

Buck nodded. The reasons were logical. "Good planning. If you ask me, though, we should all go. Townsfolk aren't going to let some random group come in and bully them around like they used to."

Chris paused and leveled a look at Buck. "Go if you're in a mind to, but there is one slim chance that someone else will find him and bring him into town and one of us needs to be here to keep an eye out."

Buck let out a whistle. "Damn, Chris. Thought never occurred to me."

Chris shrugged. "It's a long shot, but it's a possibility. I'd rather have everything covered just in case."

"Yeah." Buck sighed and nodded. "Then sticking around is a good idea. Hell I'll even put Josiah's church into use while we wait."

Chris flashed a brief smile. "I thought you held the belief that prayer was all a bunch of hooey."

Buck chuckled. "That it may be, Chris, but it definitely won't hurt any. Who knows? It might even help."

Chris nodded and went back to gathering the various items the group heading out to search would need.

* * *

He was in pain, he was cold, and he was wet. That was about all he knew. As he blinked his eyes open and coughed up the little bit of water he had swallowed, he tried to think about where he was. As he pushed himself up into a sitting position weakly, he looked around with a frown. His head was throbbing too much to be of much help and there was no information readily forthcoming. The fact he didn't know his location was worrisome in and of itself. What frightened him was that he had no idea as to who he was and how he had gotten to wherever it was he had gotten to.

As he gathered his strength, he tried to piece together what it was he did know. Looking at himself brought no clues as his clothing was battered from the water. Although he did seem to be fairly well armed. He rubbed his head. So he did know some things, just not anything important. He knew he was carrying three guns and that his clothing was of good quality even though it had been through the same event that had caused him to forget who he was and where he was. He also knew that if he didn't get to some sort of shelter, then he might die even though he survived his swim. He took a deep breath and pushed himself to his feet. He took three shaky steps and tripped over his own two feet.

The landing caused him to cry out as a new wave of pain assaulted him and he figured he had caused himself further injury. He looked up at the sky. The sun was practically overhead. All he got from that was he had some time before he absolutely had to move. For all he knew, it would be better to just stay where he was in case someone came looking for him. He removed his jacket and folded it in order to use it as a pillow so he could lie back on it. He decided to rest a while in hopes of gaining enough strength so he could move should the need arise.

* * *

J.D. was anxious as he hopped around while they made the last arrangements to leave. Every minute they were in town meant another minute Ezra was out there hurt or dying. He didn't even entertain an idea that his smooth-talking friend was already dead. Ezra had survived things that had been more likely to kill him than a tumble into the river would. He really just wanted to head out as fast as Milagro could take him.

"Son," Josiah put a hand on his shoulder as if to hold him in place. "Bouncing around like a jackrabbit isn't going to make Vin or Nathan go any faster. It's best if you just save your energy for when we start out. Tiring yourself out will be of no use to us or to Ezra."

J.D. felt a flash of guilt and forced himself to settle down. "I just wish we had looked a little longer, Josiah! We could have found him and one of us could have stayed with him while the rest came back for supplies." He swallowed against the dryness in his throat. "He would have done the same for any one of us." When Josiah gave him a doubtful look, J.D. clenched his fists. "He would have! I can't explain why, but I just have a gut feeling that he wouldn't leave any of us to die."

Josiah sighed. "I hope your faith in him isn't ill-placed, John Dunne."

Just as J.D. was starting to feel anxious again, Vin waved a hand. "Come on! Let's mount up and ride out!"

* * *

Gathering up his strength, he managed to get standing again. This time, he was successful in his endeavor to walk in a somewhat straight line. He paused when he realized he had left his jacket behind, but decided that bending down to retrieve it would only cause him to fall over. Finding someplace warm was more important to him than a jacket, so he continued on his way. He concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other, hoping that the dizziness he was feeling would go away. He spotted a copse of trees surrounding a small building with broken windows and walls that had more holes than wood. It was better than nothing, though, so he made his way to the structure and pushed on the door. The hinge made a long, mournful sound and there was a layer of dust that was brought up when the door opened. That meant the place currently had no one living there. At least he hoped that was what it meant. He looked around the filthy and cobweb laden interior and felt relief when he saw a rough cot. Whoever had lived here hadn't been too keen on having luxuries. There wasn't much more than the cot, a dresser and a wood-burning stove. The only thing that got his attention was the cot. He stripped off his cold wet clothes and curled up on the cot, pulling the dusty blanket over himself. He didn't care that the blanket was old and filthy. It was dry and warmer than his clothes had been. That was all that mattered to him.

* * *

Josiah rode in silence behind the other three. Nathan had his horse hitched to a small cart that would be an adequate size to transport Ezra whether he be casualty or corpse, Vin was keeping his eyes glued to the river, and J.D. was looking around anxiously as if he expected Ezra to appear out of thin air. Much as it pained him to think it, Josiah believed that death had finally claimed the gambler.

They had been riding along the edge of the river for some time and the sun was starting to set. Pretty soon, it would be time to stop for the day and Josiah dreaded having to tell the youngest member of their group that the search was off until morning.

Just as that thought finished, J.D. let out a sound that bordered on pure joy and he urged his horse into a gallop.

Josiah brought his horse alongside to where Nathan was before indicating where J.D. was dismounting. "What's got into him?"

J.D. picked something up off the ground and ran back. "Vin! Look!" He held up a very distinctive red jacket. "It's Ezra's, isn't it?"

Josiah shook his head before turning his eyes heavenward. "Lord ... either You really love that man too much to let him die, or You just really don't want him for all eternity yet."

Nathan let out a chuckle. "Amen." He clicked the reins to urge his horse forward as Vin dismounted and looked around at the ground.

Josiah also dismounted and followed the steady progress. "What do you think?"

Vin let out a breath. "Well ... there are tracks from the river to this point where there are indications that he decided to rest for a while." He pointed away from the river. "From here, he may as well have made a huge arrow saying he went that way."

J.D. looked hopeful. "That's good, right? He made it away from the river, didn't he?"

Nathan's deep voice was calm when he spoke up. "Now don't go getting your hopes up too high. Just because he was alive long enough to walk away from the river doesn't mean he's still alive now. Might've done himself further harm by moving."

Vin nodded. "Hate to say it, but Nathan has a point. Let's find Ezra first and then say whether or not he's alive."

J.D.'s chin tilted stubbornly. "I say he is! I'd even put money on it right here if you want to."

Josiah chuckled. "No one's asking you to, son, so just settle down. Let's do as Vin says and find Ezra first. Plenty of time for betting when we find him. Lord knows he'll be sore if we make a bet and he isn't the one calling the odds."

The four of them shared a small smile at the hopeful light the red jacket shone on their search.

When the small shack came into sight, Vin held up a hand. "J.D., We'll let Nathan and Josiah go in. You and I will get a fire going."

Josiah shared a look with the negro healer. Vin's message was clear to them. If Ezra was dead, the tracker didn't want J.D. to be the first person to know. He attatched Trinity's lead to the cart and waited as Nathan grabbed his kit before they entered the small weather-beaten shack. He saw what he both hoped and dreaded he'd see on the cot. He let out a breath when the huddled form shuddered then shook his head with a smile and said a silent prayer in thanks that he would not be burying his friend that day.

Nathan whistled. "No one should be this lucky. He's got a nasty cut on his head that I can see. I need to check him and make sure he isn't hurt worse." He approached the cot quickly, stepping over the pile of clothes on the floor, and shook a pale shoulder. "Ezra? Ezra! Come on, now. Wake up so I can check how badly you're hurt."

The gambler woke up with a shout and looked around wildly as he tried to get away from them and only managing to get himself tangled further in the blanket.

Josiah was concerned at Ezra's reaction, but kept his tone soft. "Be at peace, Ezra. You're safe now."

Pale green eyes blinked at his tone, then they narrowed as if studying him. "D-do you know me?"

Nathan swore beside him, but Josiah made sure to keep his tone encouraging. "We're your friends. We came looking for you." He couldn't believe how young Ezra looked at the moment. The gambler looked lost and afraid. "You don't know us?"

Ezra's eyes darted from Josiah to Nathan and back before he answered quietly, closing his eyes briefly as if in thought. "I d-don't even know myself."

Nathan was quiet as he responded. "Well it looks like you got a bad knock on the head ... might have caused you to lose your memory. You hurt anywhere else that you know of?"

Josiah helped their injured friend to sit up properly, causing the meager blanket to slip a little. Ezra's skin was cool. Probably because the threadbare blanket could not have provided much warmth. "Will he get his memory back?"

Nathan shrugged. "Depends. Might come back sudden or gradually. Might not come back at all. Only time will tell. Right now, I want to look him over and make sure his head is the worst of his injuries."

Josiah nodded. "I'll get the change of clothes we brought and let our two brothers know the glad tidings." He paused when Ezra reached out and grabbed his shirt weakly. "What's wrong?"

"You aren't ..." He frowned and pursed his lips as if he was going to whistle before giving his head a slight shake. "Aren't going t-to hurt me, are you?" Ezra brought his hand up to touch the injury on his head and winced. "Sorry, but I d-don't know you."

Josiah blinked at Ezra's trouble with speaking. Perhaps the blow to the head had caused more than memory loss. He tried to smile in a reassuring way. "I promise that no harm will come to you by our hands. We're here to help." He gently patted Ezra's shoulder before turning away. He shared a nod with Nathan before exiting the shack.

J.D. looked up and approached with an odd mix of hope and dread on his face. Josiah took a deep breath. "It's all right, son. He's alive." He held up a hand as J.D. was about to let out a joyful whoop.

"What's wrong?" Vin had done a superb job of building a fledgeling fire and was carefully adding wood to encourage the small flame into something that would last longer and be warmer when the chill of nightfall set in.

Josiah sighed and shook his head. "He's alive." He frowned a moment as he searched for a good way to phrase it, then shrugged. "Problem is he got a blow to the head. He didn't recognize Nathan or myself. He doesn't even know his own name."

J.D.'s face fell. "It'll come back, though, right? I remember reading about someone that fell down some stairs and lost their memory. They got it back when someone played a song that had been their favorite as a child. Maybe the same thing will happen for Ezra!"

"Well that's in God's hands, J.D.." Josiah retrieved the small bundle of clothing. "Right now, Nathan is tending to the wound on Ezra's head and making sure he isn't hurt badly anywhere else. After that, I reckon Ezra will appreciate being warm, dry and fed."

Vin nodded. "Keep an eye on the fire, J.D.. I'm going to fix us some dinner."

Josiah smiled a little and turned back to the shack with Ezra's clothing.

* * *

"There! We're done. You can get dressed now."

He blinked at the dark-skinned man. So far, he hadn't thought to ask any names. At least he knew that his own name was Ezra because that was what he and the other tall man had called him. He offered a smile and nod in thanks as he accepted the clothes. He supposed he was lucky that it wasn't difficult to get dressed, or he would have been asking for help. He was going to have trouble enough as it was with one arm immobilized as the one tending to his injuries informed him he had dislocated his shoulder and it would be better if he couldn't do it again by accident in his sleep.

"Well ... since you have no memory, perhaps we should introduce ourselves." The tall white man cleared his throat. "My name is Josiah Sanchez and this is Nathan Jackson. Nathan, here isn't quite a doctor, but he does a good job at tending to the folks in the town we live in." Josiah tilted his head. "Me? I was a preacher until I fell from grace. Now I'm serving my penance and trying to save souls."

Ezra nodded and swallowed. "Jo ... Josiah and N-n-nathan." He had a feeling he shouldn't be having so much trouble talking, but really couldn't judge. He took a deep breath and sighed at the feel of dry clothes against his skin. "Anyone else?"

Josiah chuckled. "Yep! We're travelling with two more of our group. J.D. Dunn and Vin Tanner."

"Are we buh-bad men? I seem to have a ..." Ezra swallowed before he continued. "A lot of guns."

Nathan snorted. "Bad? No!" He seemed to be gearing himself up to say something, but Josiah cleared his throat and fixed Nathan with a look.

"You, my good friend, are one of seven men who were hired to protect the town of Four Corners. The last two of our group, Chris Larabee and Buck Wilmington, stayed behind to make sure no one starts any trouble." Josiah smiled warmly at him. "We all have our quirks," he frowned when Nathan coughed at the word, "but we all know we can count on one another. If not for our lack of proper supplies, we would have been out here looking for you earlier."

Ezra turned his attention to Nathan. "You d-d-don't like me." It upset him that there would be a reason one of the people he supposedly worked with had something against him, especially since he couldn't remember what that reason was.

Nathan sighed and turned his eyes to the ceiling before answering. "We just have our differences of opinion which cause us to disagree a lot." He shrugged. "You annoy the Hell out of me most times, to be honest, but I do not dislike you."

"Ah." He wanted to say more, but the effort of speaking really tired him out. He finished getting dressed with a minimal amount of aid, mindful of his aches and pains. He was almost relieved that, aside from his head and his shoulder, he was mostly suffering from a lot of bad bruising and a few minor cuts from rocks he had hit. Nathan had also said he was going to make sure Ezra wouldn't get sick from being exposed to the cold for so long.

Josiah took hold of Ezra's good arm to help him stay standing for which he was really greatful. He was still a little dizzy. "Come along, my friend. Vin has a fire going and, if my nose serves me right, is cooking up something to eat. You must be hungry since you didn't eat anything after we left town this morning. It's not like you had the chance with us chasing outlaws and you falling into the river."

Ezra allowed himself to be led from the dubious shelter the shack had provided and into the cooling evening where he saw two people tending to a fire. Both looked up as they approached. The obvious younger of the two stood up and beamed at him.

"Ezra! How are you feeling? We have a bedroll set up as close to the fire as we safely can." He shook his head. "Aw, Hell! Where are my manners? Josiah said you lost your memories, so I guess I should re-introduce myself!" He held his hand out. "J.D. Dunne! Glad I can keep working with you."

Ezra returned the smile and shook the younger man's hand. Then he turned to the last person. "Then, g-going by ... by what J-josiah said." He bit his tounge lightly as if he could punish it into behaving. He was glad that the last man waited patiently. The last thing he wanted was someone to finish for him. "You must be Vin." He let out a breath in relief that he got that all out.

Vin nodded once. "Get yourself comfortable and we'll eat."

Ezra allowed J.D. to guide him to the bedroll mentioned and sighed. He was glad he wouldn't have to move too much for a while. His whole body hurt. He looked up as Nathan approached him.

"Now I don't want you to overdo it. You start feeling tired, I want you to lie down and sleep. Your body needs to mend itself." Nathan smiled warmly at him. "I didn't put all that work into tending your hurts to have it all undone because you want to be stubborn."

Ezra smiled back shyly and nodded his assent. "I will. I p-pr-promise." Before any more could be said, a plate was placed in front of him on a steady piece of ground and Ezra proceeded to eat using his good hand. As he enjoyed his meal, he wondered what the next day would bring.

* * *

To Be Continued ...

* * *

Author's Notes: For the title, I used an online thesaurus for the word "Confusion".

This fic is also being posted on my website: www-celestialchronicles-com

My best friend, Keara, used the slow forward on the DVD during the episode "The Collector" to see some of the area names. She's also offered help and suggestions whenever I've gotten stuck, so many thanks to her.

Usually, the general consensus for the name of Ezra's horse is Chaucer. I decided that "Chance" was a more appropriate name for the gelding. The names I have chosen for the horses are as follows:

Chris: Pony / Buck: Buster / Vin: Peso / Nathan: Hemp / JD: Milagro / Josiah: Trinity / Ezra: Chance

For the most part, I got the names of the horses from the actual horse names the actors rode in the show with a little shuffling here and there. I honestly could not see Buck riding a horse named Beavis. As I stated, "Chance" seemed to be a good name for Ezra's horse. I decided on "Trinity" for Josiah's before I knew what the actual horses were called, and it just stuck in my head.

I would assume that anyone familiar with the series knows what the men all sound like, so I will allow you readers to imagine their various accents since I don't want to chance forgetting to type something while writing Ezra's southern drawl or Vin's Texas accent.

I honestly have no idea what injuries one would sustain when surviving a fall into a river and being dragged some distance by its current. I just needed a reason for everyone to believe Ezra was dead.

On a final note, I hope I am writing stuttering properly. I'm going by my experience of listening to my brother talk as he tends to stutter when he's excited. If I am not, I will welcome any corrections as I have no wish to insult anyone.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em! Wish I did! I don't even own the DVDs! Those belong to Keara!

* * *

**Perturbation**

_by Tenshi-Chan_

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Part 2

* * *

J.D. frowned a little as he rode beside the cart. They were well on their way to Four Corners. They had broken camp as soon as the first rosy fingers of dawn allowed them to see where they were going. "Can you still shoot?"

Ezra blinked and frowned in thought. He was sitting in the cart due to Nathan not wanting to chance Ezra falling and causing more damage to himself. "I ..." He shrugged. "Maybe. I guh-guess we'll f-f-find out." He shook his head. "D-did I ... I ALWAYS t-talk ... like ... like this?"

J.D. looked to Nathan for guidance. He was greatful when the healer spoke up.

"Nope! Matter of fact, you normally use a lot of rather fancy words. We can't understand what you say most of the time and you have to re-phrase what you said." Nathan shook his head. "Maybe we should get you a book so you can re-learn those words."

J.D. tilted his head. "Hey! Maybe your stutter is why you started using such fancy words!" At Ezra's look, J.D. shrugged. "When we get back to town, maybe you oughta try it!"

Ezra frowned as if in thought.

"I sure hope you can still shoot." The thought that the southern man might have lost that skill worried J.D.. Ezra had been one of the best shots of the seven of them. When Ezra merely shrugged in response, J.D. frowned. "We really gotta see about that when you're feeling better."

Josiah snorted. "Son ... you had better stop pestering him about his ability to shoot before he tests said ability on you."

J.D. opened his mouth to complain, but was cut off by a soft chuckling coming from Ezra. "It wasn't funny!"

Ezra shook his head. "N-not the ... the comment." He smirked at J.D. and there was a glint of joy. "Re-remembered something."

J.D. blinked. "What?"

"I ... I'm looking f-for the man that ... that shot my p-paw."

There was a stunned silence before Nathan groaned. "Of all the things you could remember first, you had to remember the punchline to J.D.'s horrible joke?"

Ezra's grin was full of triumph. "It's some ... something!"

J.D. beamed at that and then gave the rest of them a smug look.

* * *

Chris kept an eye on the road into town as he carved absently into a piece of wood he'd picked up. He wasn't going to say anything, but he really did hope that they found Ezra. Alive would be preferable to dead, but dead would be preferable to not at all. He'd already heard Mrs. Travis' story ideas for each of the three possibilities, and he had been pleased with them. He looked up as Buck walked over to join him.

"Damn, Chris! Sun's only been up for a few hours! You don't think they'd risk their horses by riding at night, do you?" His best friend sat beside him and handed him a cup of coffee.

Chris took the cup and gave Buck a quirk of a smile. "Nah! Was just kinda hoping they'd found him making his way back here."

Buck chuckled and shook his head. "And here I thought you were getting too old for such fancy notions."

"So says the man who spent the whole night in the church."

Buck shrugged and took a good swig of his coffee. "Got me there, Chris. Guess you weren't the only one chasing after a rainbow hoping a pot of gold would be at the end of it."

Chris nodded and looked back at the road. "May as well take a walk around town and make sure everything is secure. Sitting here staring at the road isn't going to bring news any faster." He quickly drank his coffee and stood up. "You joining me?"

"Sounds like a plan to me." Buck sighed and stood as well. He took a moment to bring the now empty cups to Inez before falling into step with his best friend. They spent most of the early morning checking up on the townspeople and making small-talk.

They were about ready to stop and take a break to get a drink when the sounds of horses approaching town caught Chris's attention. He glanced over as Mary Travis hurried out of the Clarion. "Mary."

The blonde woman looked hopeful. "Is it them, Chris?"

Chris glanced at her before stepping into the street with Buck beside him. His hand hovered near his gun just in case it was someone planning to cause trouble. He relaxed when he recognized Vin and approached the oncoming riders. He tilted his head as Vin sped up to reach him before the others.

The ex bounty hunter dismounted and nodded a greeting to the three of them. He let out a breath and gave them a reassuring smile. "We found Ezra, alive and in relatively good condition considering everything he's been through."

Mary placed a hand over her heart. "Thank God. How is he?"

"He's a bit bruised and has a slight fever that Nathan wants to watch for a few days." Vin took his hat off and glanced back at the approaching group. "But either the explosion or the battering he got in the river gave him a head injury. Caused him to lose all his memories. He doesn't know us or himself." After another pause, he continued with a puzzled tone. "He has also seems to have either developed or re-acquire a stutter. I'd write to ask his mother, but she might decide to visit and we all know how upset Ezra gets whenever she's in town." He pursed his lips. "Come to think about it, it might be something he's always had, just learned a trick to prevent it. I noticed him tripping over his words once when he was upset."

Chris felt a weight lift off his shoulders. "At least he's alive. Everything else can come later." He waited patiently as the rest of the group approached and walked to the cart to help Nathan get Ezra out.

The southern man blinked at him and gave him a shy smile. "Mis-mister ... Larabee? I g-got descriptions of ... of you and Mister Wil-wilmington."

Chris smiled a little and nodded. "That's me. Glad to see you're still with us." When Ezra nodded and looked around, Chris felt a niggle of curiosity. "Anything familiar?"

Ezra shook his head. "But ... feels li-like home."

Nathan nodded to Chris. "Would you get him up to the clinic? He's still a bit dizzy and feverish, and he agreed to let me watch over him. Understandable considering he doesn't know where anything is."

Ezra pointed. "What's th-there?"

They all looked and Buck actually laughed. "Well he knows where his feather bed is!" He turned back to Ezra and offered his assistance. "Well, pard, want me to lead you to your room?"

Chris looked at Nathan in askance. "Will he be all right there?"

Nathan seemed to think about it before nodding. "A familiar environment might help." He gave Ezra an encouraging smile. "Having your things around could help you remember."

Chris watched Buck lead Ezra away and turned to Mary Travis.

Hers was an expression of satisfaction. "I'll have that story about Mr. Standish being found in tomorrow's paper." She placed a hand on Chris' arm. "I can't tell you how glad that makes me. Despite his shady past, Mr. Standish is a good man."

Chris nodded. He knew that. He had known that for a long time.

* * *

Ezra looked around the room, hoping something would come back to him. Aside from the sense of familiarity the room gave him, there was nothing solid. Even his own reflection was strange to him.

Nathan cleared his throat, getting Ezra's attention. "Now I don't want you trying to force things. You need to rest and get better. Work on your memory when you're stronger. All right?" He motioned to the room. "I'm going to see about getting you something to eat. You should get changed and get into bed."

Ezra nodded at the dark-skinned man before watching him leave. Once Nathan was gone, Ezra started looking through things. It took a few minutes before he found what looked to be a suitable sleeping garment. His shoulder was still sore, but Nathan had deemed it safe to let him use it as long as he didn't strain it too much. He was careful as he changed and resumed looking through his things. He paused as he caught a wisp of a conversation in his mind.

_'I hang your coat?' A sweet-looking girl gives him a hopeful look._

_He hands it over, slowly, plagued by confusion. 'I-I'd rather you just tell me what it is you're doing here.'_

_The girl hangs it with almost reverance. 'Folding your beautiful clothes for you.'_

Ezra shook his head and looked around. Who was that girl, and why did the vague memory fill him with a feeling of loss?

He had to admit one thing. He had good taste in clothes. The door opened behind him and he turned to look at Nathan.

"You can look around later. Right now, you need to get into that bed and get some proper rest. You didn't sleep well last night." The healer had a tray with some food on it.

Ezra nodded and eased himself into bed, letting a contented sigh escape at the softness of the surface.

Nathan placed the tray down and handed him a spoon. "Now Inez made that especially for you. She's mighty fond of you, and you don't want to hurt her feelings by not eating."

Ezra took a tentative bite and rolled the food around in his mouth. It wasn't much, but it was delicious. The only thing this proved was that there was absolutely nothing wrong with his appetite.

Nathan looked pleased as Ezra finished off what he had been given, then handed him a cup filled with steaming liquid. "For the pain. You did get banged up a lot and your head has got to be sore. This will make you more comfortable so you can sleep better."

Ezra wrinkled his nose at the smell, but dutifully drank the foul-tasting liquid. "Atrocious!" He blinked, not sure where that word had come from.

Nathan chuckled. "It is that, but it helps." He patted Ezra's uninjured shoulder. "And that word just then was what I was talking about earlier. So it looks like your memories aren't lost, just misplaced."

Ezra felt heartened at that. Little things were coming back. Nothing important, but he had hope that the little things would spark more relevant memories.

* * *

Nathan sat with Ezra as the gambler slowly fell asleep. He found he was enjoying the southerner's company. It was as if Ezra's life experiences had camouflaged the man he was meant to be. The man that caused Nathan so much irritation was actually rather enjoyable to talk to. It made Nathan wonder just how much of Ezra's attitude was an act.

There was a footfall just outside Ezra's room and Nathan recognized the tread as Inez's. He stood up and opened the door for the young bartender.

She smiled and held up a tray for him. "I thought you might like something to eat as well." She looked at the bed and her expression changed. "How is Senor Ezra?"

Nathan took the tray and glanced back at the sleeping man. "The worst of his injuries are his head and shoulder. His memory loss concerns me, but it looks like things are coming back to him in bits and pieces." He turned back and smiled reassuringly. "He'll be himself in no time."

Inez blinked at him. "I know I only spoke with him a moment, but I saw nothing different." She shrugged. "Maybe a slight trouble with words, but nothing else." She shook her head. "Perhaps, Senor Nathan, it is you who are seeing different?" With that, she turned and left.

Nathan simply stared after the woman before closing the door and sitting down to eat his own meal.

* * *

To Be Continued ...

* * *

_**Author's Notes:**_ For the title, I used an online thesaurus for the word "Confusion".

I would assume that anyone familiar with the series knows what the men all sound like, so I will allow you readers to imagine their various accents since I don't want to chance forgetting to type something while writing Ezra's southern drawl or Vin's Texas accent.

I hope I am writing stuttering properly. I'm going by my experience of listening to my brother talk as he tends to stutter when he's excited. If I am not, I will welcome any corrections as I have no wish to insult anyone.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em! Wish I did! I don't even own the DVDs! Those belong to Keara!

* * *

**Perturbation**

_by Tenshi-Chan_

* * *

Part 3

* * *

Ezra woke up slowly and was very disappointed that he still didn't remember anything. He jumped a little when someone touched his forehead.

"Calm down, Ezra." Nathan's voice was warm and comforting. "I'm just checking to see if your fever has gone up." The hand moved from his forehead to his cheek before Nathan spoke again. "Nope! Actually, you feel like you're a normal temperature. How do you feel? Does your head still hurt?"

Ezra shook his head carefully. "Nuh-not hurting, but there's a d-dull throbbing."

Nathan nodded, apparantly satisfied. "Well I want you to stay in bed until tomorrow. Then, if you're feeling up to it, we'll get you to the porch outside the saloon so you can get some fresh air. I want you to take it easy until I think you're up to more movement."

Ezra nodded and looked down. He frowned when he noticed his fingers were making some odd motions. "Huh?" He blinked as something was placed in his hands, and something fell into place.

"I've rarely seen you without a deck of playing cards in your hands." He smiled as Ezra started manipulating them with an unconscious expertise.

Ezra felt a small smile of his own forming on his face. He knew these cards and knew what could be done with them. A strange sort of tranquility filled him. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to partake in a game of chance ...?"

Nathan froze and started laughing. "Lord, Ezra! I never thought I'd be glad to hear that question from you. In the morning, I promise you can beat me out of a month's wages."

Ezra frowned and stopped shuffling. "I d-don't know." Then he blinked. "W-why didn't I st-stutter just now?"

Nathan shrugged. "Not quite sure. Maybe there is a trick you taught yourself. A way to calm yourself before and during your talking. We'll try and find out more tomorrow. Right now, you need rest."

Ezra scowled at that. He had only just woken up. The last thing he wanted to do was go back to sleep.

As if reading his expression, Nathan handed him a book. "Here. Looks like you're in the middle of it."

Ezra took the book and let out a laugh devoid of humor. "Mi-might as well start from th-the beginning." He flipped to the beginning of the book and proceeded to read.

* * *

J.D. paced outside the saloon the next morning. He was eager to see Ezra and test the southerner's shooting ability. He had some hope since Nathan had told him that Ezra seemed to remember what to do with cards. He beamed at Ezra as he appeared. "Hey, Ezra! Nathan said you could try shooting."

Ezra gave him a bemused look. "W-why are you so ..." He frowned and was silent a moment before speaking again. "Why?"

J.D. blushed a little. "It'd just seem ... strange ... to not have you there watching our backs if you can't shoot." He shrugged. "I know it must seem stupid."

Ezra shook his head. "No." He made a motion. "Lead th-the way."

J.D. didn't take Ezra far. He'd set up a few empty bottles on top of a nearby hitching post for Ezra to use as targets. "Okay. Here are your guns! Now ... don't feel bad if you can't hit the targets."

Ezra picked up the Remington and examined it a moment. He went through the motions of checking the ammunition and testing the weight before lifting it and pulling the trigger.

J.D. let out a whoop as the middle bottle exploded in a shower of glass. When the rest of the bottles exploded in a similar fashion when Ezra used his other guns, J.D. beamed at his friend. "Yes!" He was pleased to see a similar smile on Ezra's face. "I guess that answers that question!"

Ezra put his guns down. "I gu-guess it does!"

J.D. patted the southerner's good shoulder. "Well now that we know you can shoot, let's go get something to eat and play a few hands of poker." He stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked on his feet a little. "Maybe you'll be able to win a week's worth of pay off me!"

Ezra looked bewildered. "Mr. Ja-jackson said something s-si-similar last night. D-don't you need ... need your money?" He shook his head. "C-can't we play for sss ... sssomething else?" He scowled as if frustrated.

J.D. blinked at Ezra's question. "Well ... sure! I suppose we could. Not sure what else we coud play for, though."

Ezra considered that for a moment then shrugged.

J.D. pondered the issue before placing a hand on Ezra's shoulder. "We'll ask Inez! She might have a suggestion." Then he smiled encouragingly. "And don't ever be afraid to talk, Ezra. None of us will poke fun at you because you stutter now!"

Ezra shook his head. "Not ... not fear. Fr-fru ..." He growled and shook his head while motioning with his hand.

J.D. smiled at him in understanding. "There was a maid where I grew up that stuttered and my ma once told me that she stuttered because her mouth couldn't keep up with her brain. That she must have been so smart that she actually tripped over her words in the effort."

Ezra smiled in appreciation.

J.D. thought a moment. "Maybe it'll help if you plan what you're going to say before you say it. You were always so careful with your words. Maybe that's what you were doing and just using the fancy words to cover that fact up."

Ezra tilted his head and was silent a moment before speaking. "Your advice is most appreciated." Then he grinned.

J.D. grinned back. "I suppose you'll have to practice at it."

Ezra nodded and took a breath. "You might have a point ..." He was talking slowly and his drawl more pronounced, but he was talking without a stammer. Ezra sighed. "The effort, however, is rather t-tiring." Then he smiled. "I d-don't think I have the energy j-just now."

J.D. nodded. "I guess it must be since you aren't used to doing it anymore. Now let's go see about breakfast!"

* * *

Inez looked up and smiled when she saw J.D. and Ezra entered. "Ah! Buenos Dias, Senors! How can I help you?"

The youngest of the gunmen that looked after the town smiled back. "Morning, Inez! We're looking for breakfast, and I need ideas on something to use as tokens for poker."

Inez thought in puzzlement. Ezra usually used money in poker. But, then, that was what he had been taught by that ... well there was no word appropriate for how she felt about Maude Standish. "I have seen you play for wood poker tokens. Why not use those?" When J.D. flushed a little, she sighed. "Ah ... Senora Standish took them all last time she left town, did she not?" With a shake of her head she took out a box. "Here are some matches you can use as tokens. I will go and get you breakfast!" She looked past J.D. to Ezra. "Is there anything you would like?"

Ezra came closer and tilted his head. "What d-do I usually eat?"

Inez rolled her eyes. "Not enough! I will make you something special. You tell me if you like it."

Ezra nodded and turned to his younger friend. "Shall we?"

J.D. took the box of matches. "Let's see if you can still beat me at cards!"

Inez smiled as she watched the two men then set about fixing them something to eat. It was almost no time at all before she had their breakfasts prepared. She set the two plates on a tray with two cups of freshly brewed coffee and brought the tray out to where the two men were playing cards. Ezra had already won a few matchsticks and that fact pleased the Mexican woman immensely. "Here! Tell me what you think."

J.D. gave her his thanks and started devouring his meal with his usual enthusiasm.

Ezra took a preliminary cautious bite before smiling at her, telling her how good he found it without words and then followed J.D.'s example.

Inez nodded in satisfaction before turning back to tend the bar. She smiled at Buck Wilmington, who had entered the saloon while she was cooking.

"Good morning, fairest of desert flowers!" He looked over where the two youngest members of the seven were eating. "Glad to see him eating. That mother of his had him convinced that eating a hearty breakfast slows down the reflexes."

Inez made the motion of spitting off to the side. "I liked her once, but not so much after our first meeting. What would you like?"

"A kiss would be nice, but I know I won't get one. So I'll have my usual and then join my friends." Buck winked at her in his usual flirty way.

She quickly fixed his breakfast and handed it to him, allowing him to join the two men already engaged in another hand of cards. She sighed a little as she watched the handsome man greet Ezra heartily. If Buck Wilmington wasn't such a playboy, she might consider his advances. She didn't want to be another notch on his belt. Too many times she had heard him talking about a conquest that he had bedded and then tired of. The last thing she was going to allow was for her name to be added to that list.

* * *

To Be Continued ...

* * *

**Author's Notes**: _For the title, I used an online thesaurus for the word "Confusion"._

_I was originally planning to have Ezra and J.D. play poker for peanuts, but Keara informed me that peanuts were not used as a snack at that time. They were mostly used as animal feed._

_I would assume that anyone familiar with the series knows what the men all sound like, so I will allow you readers to imagine their various accents since I don't want to chance forgetting to type something while writing Ezra's southern drawl or Vin's Texas accent._

_I hope I am writing stuttering properly. I'm going by my experience of listening to my brother talk as he tends to stutter when he's excited. If I am not, I will welcome any corrections as I have no wish to insult anyone._

_I know the word I was going to have Inez use when thinking of Maude, but felt it was better to leave that word unsaid so the readers could use their own phrase. If enough people request it, Maybe I'll have Inez call Maude that word to her face if she shows up._


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em! Wish I did! I don't even own the DVDs! Those belong to Keara!

* * *

**Perturbation**

by Tenshi-Chan

* * *

**Part 4**

* * *

Buck settled down and, one by one, the other four members of their group joined them.

JD's brown eyes were bright with ill-concealed pleasure. "He can still shoot!" He leaned forward and spoke as if betraying a confidence. "And I noticed he doesn't stutter as much while playing cards."

The object of JD's comments spoke up. "HE is right here." Ezra's eyes didn't leave the cards in his hands. "As irritating as my speech impediment is, I cannot be perpetually playing cards." He laid down his full house. "Although Mr. J-Jackson said I usually have cards in my hands."

Buck nodded. "Your favorite thing to do is to get the ace of spades out of the deck with one hand like some gypsy card trick."

Their dark-skinned healer made a motion. "You probably found it relaxing as a child and your mother might have encouraged it."

To Buck's surprise, Ezra frowned. He reached across and tapped Ezra's wrist lightly. "What's wrong?"

Ezra was quiet a moment before putting his cards down. "W-would rather find something else. I d-don't think I always p-pl-play fair."

Nathan was the one who spoke up to reassure the man. "You used to make your living as a con man. You still cheated at cards for a while, but I haven't seen any evidence of you playing unfairly in a long time."

"Not since you lost the saloon!" That was from JD. The young northerner shrugged. "It's true! He cheated every once in a while because he was saving up all that money to get the saloon, then he lost it and stopped cheating altogether. It was like he didn't see the point anymore."

Ezra tilted his head at them. "How did I lose it?"

Buck swallowed down the wave of guilt he felt at that question. There was such a lack of guile in Ezra's tone that it was if he were a child asking why his beloved aged pet had "gone away".

The eldest of the group sighed and shook his head. "We weren't there covering your back like we were supposed to. Your mother was in town and we actually ended up helping her put you out of business. It's not something we're particularly proud of, and I hope you can forgive us again like you did before."

Ezra started to shuffle the cards again and looked thoughtful. "I suppose I can remain magnanimous. I would still prefer another means of averting this most abhorrent stutter. I would also rather have my comrades understand my meaning without my having to reiterate."

Buck chuckled and raised his cup of coffee. "We'd all like that. If we don't find something that helps, your stutter ain't all that bad."

"Perhaps you don't quite comprehend how unpleasant it is to have full knowledge of what you desire to say and be unable to make your meaning known because your oral facilities refuse to co-operate." Ezra scowled. "It is also rather disconcerting to use such a verbose way of getting my meaning across when less extravagant language should suffice." He took a deep breath and put his cards down. "I h-hate it!"

Buck wondered if this was something new, or if Ezra had aways felt that way about how he spoke. Then something JD had said struck home. "Hang on a sec. How did you find out that Ezra can still shoot?"

The youngest of their group shrugged. "Just set up a few bottles out on the hitching post. He hit every one of them."

Buck shared a look with Chris before addressing JD. "The one out front?" He let out an exasperated breath when JD nodded. "CHRIST, kid! What would you have done if Ezra had missed the bottles? Couldn't you set them up around the side of the saloon? Or even someplace outside of town?"

JD's chin jutted out stubbornly. "Well he didn't miss! I doubted he would, anyway. Skill like that doesn't go away just 'cause of a little bump on the head."

Ezra, to Buck's approval, looked unhappy about the risk JD had taken. "Seems an aw-awful lot of f-faith. I could ... could have missed. It does-doesn't matter that I d-didn't."

Buck shook his head. "You have to think before you do things like this, JD. Have you learned NOTHING since coming out west?"

JD sighed and started ticking off lessons with his fingers. "Don't shoot nobody in the back, don't break cover, don't fan your gun, don't spin the barrel of a colt or it could come loose, one good shot is better than six bad ones, it's not how fast you draw it's how well you shoot." A tiny hint of a smile appeared on JD's face and he glanced at Ezra. "Never draw to an inside straight."

That got a laugh out of Ezra, and broke the tension in the air.

* * *

Chris regarded Ezra all throughout breakfast and was having a hard time getting used to the man being so quiet. Normally, Ezra was chatting about his plans for the day or trying to wheedle out of some physical task in order to do something unnecessary like guarding the jail. As if an empty jail needed a guard.

On the other hand, playing a hand of poker with this Ezra was rather enjoyable. Granted, the man had never cheated any of the six, but there were times Chris would have wondered. He smiled at Ezra's soft laugh and motioned to the gambler. "I figure we have enough time for a hand before we have to make our first rounds." He looked to Nathan. "How long until he can take a shift?"

Nathan shrugged. "I'd advise against riding for a couple of weeks, but he should be all right to walk around a bit if he takes it easy and rests if he gets tired or dizzy."

Ezra spoke softly. "Per-perhaps someone should go ... go with me."

"Sounds like a fairly decent plan to me." Vin tapped the table. "I've got nothing planned for the next few hours except working on my reading." He motioned to Ezra. "Perhaps we can help each other out today? You with my reading and me with your stutter."

Chris let his face soften as the gambler nodded before dealing the hand. With his loss of memory, Ezra seemed a great deal younger. He had to wonder if this was how the younger man might have turned out if he hadn't been raised by Maude Standish.

Regardless of how he might have been, right now he was rather vulnerable and unsure of his place in the group. Chris was, too, if he was being honest with himself. He hoped that Ezra would fit in as well as, if not better than, he had before his accident. Only time would tell.

* * *

To Be Continued ...

* * *

**Author's Notes**_: **SHE LIVES! ** _

_For the title, I used an online thesaurus for the word "Confusion"._

_I would assume that anyone familiar with the series knows what the men all sound like, so I will allow you readers to imagine their various accents since I don't want to chance forgetting to type something while writing Ezra's southern drawl or Vin's Texas accent._

_I hope I am writing stuttering properly. I'm going by my experience of listening to my brother talk as he tends to stutter when he's excited. If I am not, I will welcome any corrections as I have no wish to insult anyone._


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em! Wish I did! I don't even own the DVDs! Those belong to Keara!

* * *

**Perturbation  
by Tenshi-Chan**

* * *

Part 5

* * *

Ezra was enjoying his time with Vin. He didn't feel like he had to impress the former bounty hunter with fancy words like he did with the others. He went by what he had heard on the trip back. Josiah was a priest, and something about that made him feel like he was being judged. JD was young and eager and Ezra hated to think about how much he could disappoint him. Nathan, though friendly, gave him an uneasy feeling that made him think that the dark-skinned healer didn't like him for all his protesting. Buck was loud and boisterous and almost overly friendly, but he had a teasing twinkle in his eye that spoke of words that could cause unintentional pain. As for Chris ... the man was so intense. Although he had no memory, he had a feeling that Chris' opinion mattered more than anyone else's.

With Vin, he felt more at ease. Vin would read aloud slowly whenever they stopped and Ezra would listen. He never told Vin what word was written unless the tracker outright asked for it. He somehow knew such prompting or correction would be found irksome. In return, Ezra would speak slowly, if plainly. He thought he sounded stupid, but Vin was nothing if not encouraging.

"Seems to me that your nerves cause your stutter more than anything else. It's like you're so scared to say the wrong thing that you can't say what it is you want." Vin leaned against the wall of the bank.

Ezra shrugged. "Could be." He leaned against a nearby wall. "I wish I knew why." Vin chuckled, and Ezra tilted his head.

"You once accused us of having a habit of scaring people. All of us together can be quite a sight. It's probably why we get fewer criminals around here." He nodded to one of the residents of the town as they passed. "We all have shadows lurking in our pasts. Even Josiah." He smiled. "Maybe if you spend time with each of us, one-on-one, you'll feel more at ease."

Ezra scratched the bridge of his nose. "And my stutter would vanish like magic?"

Vin shrugged and smiled. "You haven't stuttered much since leaving the saloon." He read aloud softly for a moment before addressing Ezra again. "I think you should spend time with Josiah first. When we first joined together as a group, you seemed to enjoy his company a great deal." He turned a page and spoke again. "Or you could get the hardest out of the way and get comfortable with Chris."

Ezra scowled at that thought. The very thought of spending time with the intense gunslinger caused something inside him to twist into knots.

Vin seemed to sense Ezra's discomfort, and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Chris ain't that bad. If he were, I doubt you'd still be here."

With a soft hum of acknowledgement, Ezra pushed himself away from the building and started walking away. He paused to turn and tip his hat to Vin in thanks. "Thank you for the company and conversation, Vin."

Vin nodded. "See you later. If you're going to talk to Chris, you can usually find him at the Clarion at this time of day. Young Billy Travis adores him."

Ezra nodded and worried at his lower lip a little. He looked from left to right and back again. In the end, he turned right and headed for the church. When push came to shove, he just didn't feel ready to talk to Chris alone. Even as he cursed himself for being a coward and taking the easier path, he could not bring himself to turn around and head for the newspaper.

* * *

Josiah was sanding one of the walls when he heard a soft footfall on wood. He looked up and found himself smiling as Ezra walked in. "Ezra! You look a bit worn out, son. Why don't you have a seat?" He put his tools down and walked over to the young gambler. "What can I do for you?"

Ezra sighed before starting to speak. "Vin th-thinks my st-st-stutter might be caused by nerves."

That brought Josiah up short. He couldn't think of anything he'd done that would make Ezra nervous around him. "How do I make you nervous?" He sat down next to Ezra.

Ezra simply shook his head as if he were at a loss as to what it was that made him nervous around Josiah.

Josiah frowned in thought. "I have theories, but I won't share them with you. You must find your own answers in this world."

Ezra chuckled, and the young gambler's shoulders seemed to relax just a little.

Josiah's frown melted to a gentle smile and he patted Ezra's shoulder. "This is a place for prayer and for reflection. Perhaps a little of the latter will help. If nothing else, you can take a moment to rest so you don't overtire yourself."

That said, he went back to sanding. He hoped that his quiet support would be just what his friend needed. There was silence a moment before he heard Ezra asking something. He put down his tools again and turned to the other man. "I'm sorry, Ezra. I didn't hear you properly."

Ezra looked a little lost. "Am I a coward?"

Opening his mouth to respond, Josiah took in a breath before asking a question of his own. "Why would you think you were a coward?"

Ezra leaned forward and rested his chin on clasped hands while looking at Josiah with such honesty shining out of those jade eyes of his that it made Josiah wonder, once again, what kind of man Ezra would have been had he not been raised as a con artist. When he spoke, it was clear and sure. "I had a choice. Here, to talk to you, or the C-Clarion to talk to Chris."

Josiah chuckled. "Men braver than I am have shuddered at the thought of facing Chris Larabee when he's in one of his moods." He walked over and regarded Ezra, then he sat down next to the gambler and turned to look him in the eye. "Ezra, you first joined us because of the lure of a gold mine. You stayed in this town for thirty days because of the lure of a full pardon. That was several months ago. You stayed longer because you wanted to make yourself a better man than how you were raised. That, my young friend, takes more courage than most men have. It certainly takes more courage than I have." There had been times, in his life, when he could have chosen not to live in his father's shadow. There would always be a part of him that wondered what would have happened had he decided not to leave a much younger Emma Dubonnet. He shook that thought away and found himself looking at Ezra again. "So, no, Ezra, you are no coward."

Ezra smiled a small, genuine smile before nodding. "Thank you." It seemed as if Josiah's reassurance had given Ezra some peace of mind because he looked a lot less tense. The southerner sighed and stood up. "Well ... I suppose I should go see the lion in his d-den." Then he walked out of the church.

After Ezra left, Josiah glanced to the ceiling. "What did Maude Standish do to make her deserving of that bright soul, Lord?" With a sigh, he went back to working on the church.

* * *

To Be Continued ...

* * *

_**Author's Notes**: For the title, I used an online thesaurus for the word "Confusion"._

_I would assume that anyone familiar with the series knows what the men all sound like, so I will allow you readers to imagine their various accents since I don't want to chance forgetting to type something while writing Ezra's southern drawl or Vin's Texas accent._

_I hope I am writing stuttering properly. I'm going by my experience of listening to my brother talk as he tends to stutter when he's excited. If I am not, I will welcome any corrections as I have no wish to insult anyone._

_I, personally, am looking forward to writing the next part. Ezra's talk with Chris and then Nathan will get the two worst (to him) out of the way. I'm thinking J.D. and Buck would be together when Ezra tries to get comfortable with them. Let's just see what the muses decide._


End file.
